Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
