Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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