Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
