Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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