Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
