My liver just broke up with me...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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