nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I got inside last night via doggy door
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
