she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm sobbing to NWA
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
