I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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