On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He keeps bees of course he's weird
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
