i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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