I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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