Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
