whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
