Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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