Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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