I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
