Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
