Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
