I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
