Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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