Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
