I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
