around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
