i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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