im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
