ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
