Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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