Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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