its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
