Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
