Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
