I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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