We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
