I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
