My nipple is on Facebook.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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