I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
