U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
