I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
