oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Your penis caused this!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
