I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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