I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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