"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
