It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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