Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
