Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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