you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
