im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
