12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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