What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize
