If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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