I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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