Well apparently he's into motor boating.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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